im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
