this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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