Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
