Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she looked like the before picture.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
