You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
