I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
