sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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