I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
