hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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