Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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