sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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