You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
