you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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