I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
