I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I love you. Go after that dick
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
