There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
