Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
