I faked an abortion last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
