i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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