Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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