were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
