So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
