he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize