My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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