To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
