I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
