He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize