hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
