if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
