The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
