Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
