White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
