my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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