shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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