Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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