i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
