I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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