What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
