I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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