just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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