David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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