You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
