I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
