I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
