she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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