the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
