the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
