I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
