I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
