ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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