At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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