3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Randomize
