she woke up with a sticky ear
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
