did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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