whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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