Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
