i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
