i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
