i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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