Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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