I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
