i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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