You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
